Sunday, July 13, 2008

"Thy will be done...."


So, this has been an interesting and confusing last couple of days. For those of you who don't already know... I'm pregnant. We're expecting our fifth child in the middle of December. I'm now 17 weeks along and finally getting over some of the crappy phase. Many of our friends have taken this DNA gender detection test to find out the gender of the baby as early as 8 weeks into your pregnancy. It's a little pricey but nice if you're not too patient and like planning far in advance. It's supposedly "more accurate than an ultrasound" so people say. My mom got pretty excited about wanting to know the gender early to she convinced us to do it. With her help we completed to test kit and sent in my blood sample, paid an extra $27. to over-night it by Fed-ex. That was a Wednesday somewhere around my 10th week I think. I called and bugged the staff at the lab about when I would get my results, I wanted to find out the Friday before Memorial Day so I wouldn't have to wait until Tuesday. I waited on pins and needles all day and around 2pm I got a call from the lab that I could check my results online. I nervously punched in my secret codes and VOILA! My results were there!

"Congratulations! You are likely to be expecting a baby girl. Your Baby Gender Mentor Test result is female, which means that only female fetal genetic materials were present in your blood at the time that you took the Test. This means that you are likely carrying one or more baby girls. "

Okay! After giving birth to 4 wonderful boys, this was a bit of a shock, but none the less exciting! I began to cry a bit ... out of shock, gratitude, happiness, and more shock! I called Dave and tearfully told him the result, needless to say he was slightly shocked as well. (He's so manly he didn't think he could produce a girl!) I proceeded to call a few friends who were also waiting to hear my results.

Since then, I've not really let myself get too wrapped up in the "girl" thing. I honestly just couldn't believe it was possible. Everyone, especially those who had previously taken the test and received correct results, couldn't believe I wasn't completely sure of my results. I thought, perhaps it's just because it's in my nature to prepare myself for the worst. It just never felt safe giving into the idea that I was actually carrying a baby girl. I bought a couple cute pink things and began searching for girl names, but not much else. I decided I would feel more secure once I had an ultrasound and saw for myself that the baby was indeed a girl.

I scheduled a social ultrasound for this last Saturday the 12th. I thought it would be fun to bring all the kids and have my mom be there to see it. Really, I just wanted to validate my previous test results so I could give myself permission to enjoy the idea of expecting a girl. So I lay down on the table ready to hear whether we wasted $250 on a DNA test or whether it was right. It was a bit loud in the room with all the boys laughing at how the baby looked like a skeleton or a peanut. The technician quietly said, "It looks to me like it's a boy.." He asked me to roll over to see if he could get a different view. He proceeded to point out 3-4 times that it looked like it was indeed a boy.

I knew it. I really knew it. Maybe the Spirit had been preparing me all along not to get too excited about it being a girl because it wasn't one. No crying on my part, or Dave's for that matter (he's half robot). Mason got a bit teary eyed, he wanted a baby sister so bad. I tried to joke with him that he really wouldn't want a baby sister with a "wee-wee", that made him laugh and kind of get over it.

I've since had a hard time not thinking about it. I keep telling everyone that I'm fine. I can smile and laugh at the irony of it all. No one that I know that has taken the DNA test has ever received the wrong results. How ironic that a mother of 4 boys would be falsly told she was having a girl on her last pregnancy. I've just been reminding myself that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and he has great reason for giving me the children he has. There is a reason I'm meant to be a mother of all boys. Only he knows that reason. I feel so blessed that I have been able to bear healthy babies at all, a task which some never have to chance to do. I am so grateful for all that I've been blessed with and put my faith in the Lord that I know he has a plan for me and my family. Sometimes it takes experiences like this to remind me that those inconsequential things don't really matter, which gender your children are. What matters is that they are healthy and happy.


So the moral? Don't waste your money on dumb early gender determination tests/scans, just prepare for a healthy baby and enjoy the blessings.....

15 comments:

Monica said...

Very good story Cathi. That's one for the memory book. I have a sister with 5 boys and one with 3 boys. I think I am headed in the same direction as you. First of all, I think the moms of all boys are the coolest ones. And secondly, I took care of my niece for a few months just recently and I can tell you that all the hair, clothes and girly stuff was not as fun as I thought it would be. And girls don't get over things the way Mason did with the news. They just don't. Pros and cons pros and cons but all in all, congrats to you on carrying another healthy cute Bitter baby!!! I'm truly excited for you!

Susanne said...

Emily told me today at church. And I had to ask her if she was serious! I'll be thinking of you. And admiring your faith in all of this. You *DO* have 4 of the best boys I've ever met, though... #5 couldn't possibly be anything else. And if you're not really OK, feel free to call and vent... ;-)

amber said...

Cathi, I am just so excited that you got prego and that everything (else) has gone well. Someday you will be past this phase (child bearing) in you life and when you look back you will have warm happy feelings about being prego and having newborns with you.

Jenkins' Family said...

Congratulations on the pregnancy! My dad was blog surfing on my friend and family links and called me to have me read this new update. I admire your humor and faith through the whole experience. I've come to terms that I'll be a mother of all boys as well, we'll just have to see what the Lord has prepared for us...but not anytime soon!
The 80's party looked like so much fun.

Misty Greenhalgh said...

Cathi - congrats!!! Ya know - my daughter and I were really hoping for a girl - and when Ashton was born and was a boy there was a tiny bit of disappointment that it was not a daughter for my husband. Ashton was his 5th boy, the 6th boy in our family of 7 kids with only 1 girl. But having him made me realize I just wanted a baby... :) And not that it helps - but in total honesty - boys are much easier!!!

Congrats girl - I didn't know you were pregnant but that is great!!!

Shawn and Brittany said...

Hi Cathi,
I found your blog from a friends and am touched by your story. I was actually really good friends with a lady a couple of years ago and she had 6 boys...she told me once that she really felt one day that she would have a girl and when she didn't she was really confused over it. Then she realized that she just had to wait until all 6 of her boys got married...then she would get the "daughters" that she always felt she would have. So even though it feels kind of sad now...just think 10-20 years down the line! Good luck with your pregnancy!

Ashley Clark said...

Congratulations! One of the most amazing women I know is a mother of 5 boys. I look up to her so much. I am so happy for you.

Neese Family said...

You will just be raising a lot of "Edwards"! How cool for you. I am excited that you are expecting! You have very cute boys!

The Elmers said...

OH Cathi, you rock!! I am excited for you to have another boy! YOu make beautiful boys!!! It will be a lot of fun for them to all grow up together as best buds!!! You are so awesome, let me know if you EVER need anything!!

Julie said...

Oh Cathi! I know how much you want a girl but congrats on having another baby boy! You will love that baby boy just as much as you would love a baby girl! Just think of the 5 wonderful daughters-in-law you'll get, and with any luck there will be baby girl grandbabies for you someday! In any case congrats on your pregnancy. I've known for a while but didn't say anything cause I didn't know if you'd officially announced!

Ashlee said...

It's one thing to know that the Lord has a will for us, it's another to not feel disapointed. I hope you know it's okay to feel that way. Congrats on the pregnancy! I hope everything goes well for you.

Kari said...

I love your great attitude and great faith!! Just think...now you'll have your complete basketball team!! Your boys are so cute and I am excited for you to add to the cute Bitter boys!! I hope you are feeling well!!

Kellye and Jon said...

I am a friend of Keri's and saw your blog from hers, but If you went to Gender Ultrasound, I would not put too much stock in what they said. They get about 3 days of training and they told me I was having a boy and I had a girl. I would wait and see what your Ultrasound says at 20 weeks.

Julie said...

Cathi!!! I am sooo excited for you. I don't want to act like I know how you feel, but I think it is totally okay that you are a little sad about it all. It doesn't mean that you wont absolutley LOVE that baby boy. It just means you have to imagine your life without a little girl right now. So go ahead and be sad. And then when that sweet little boy comes you wont even give it a second thought. It is totally fine to have emotions like that. Congrats again. We are super happy for you and your family. You are an amazing mom and such a great person. Your raising the type of boys this world needs!

Lori said...

Hi Cathi---Congratulations! That is wonderful that you are having a baby!